A Little Hometown Fun
My Recorded Adventures with Julia, no. 2

Yesterday I had the pleasure of discovering that a) Hamilton may not be as boring as I thought and b) you’re never too old to have fun like a kid. My good friend Ms. Julia Wilson and I headed of to the Confederation Park Wild Water Works; it was her first time there in many years and my first time ever, in fact. I highly recommend this summer time activity to all while the chance and weather is still available. Don’t want until you have your own kids and have to worry about running after them wiping their snotty noses before you venture back to this place that I assure you, is not only for the young.

The wave pool is really friggin deep, I was a little surprised at just how much, when Julia decided it would be “fun” to hold on to the bars on the side and ended up almost drowning ourselves, good times. The lazy river kind of smelled weird, but it was nice and calm with a few water falls and sprinklers conveniently located to push your friend’s tube under (which I had the pleasure of doing to Julia various times). The water slides were a lot faster than I remembered too, its funny when you’re a kid you’re so fearless and ready to do crazy shit, but when you’re twenty-two and flying down the water slide you start to fear for your life.

The best part of the water park, for me personally, is the weird people you encounter in your travels. For example, Julia and I saw a bunch of younger teenage kids near us and the one guy was missing teeth. Allow me to put this into perspective for you, I don’t mean a mere one or two teeth, but approximately five or six, the kid had NO front teeth it was like someone (perhaps his father though tragic it may be) took a shovel and knocked them out. It pained me to look at him. The weird thing was that somehow this trailer park kid seems to have had a girlfriend (or she was hanging all over him for just the day, its hard to say for sure). Somehow this guy with no teeth is the equivalent of a Romeo among his friends. How, I ask you is such a thing possible? It’s very unsettling to me that a guy missing half of his adult teeth can get a decent looking girl, is the male selection for girls out there really that slim? Perhaps this guy had a really tremendous personality but considering I heard him utter a phrase to the effect of: “who wants some of this?” I can only assume him to be somewhat of a douche bag and hold it more than likely the reason he lost those teeth in the first place.

The only thing I would have changed about our adventure out yesterday would have been the amount of a) lines and b) children. Both of which, unfortunately in places like that cannot be avoided. I do feel the establishment would have benefited for lines for a certain older age group or perhaps an adult time to have some separation from us and the kids but I’m sure this is unrealistic as it is a child-based establishment. In any event, I say it was an afternoon of aquatic hometown fun for under $20, you can always just knock the kids out of your way.